SINGLE (check box here)

Starting your life over as single is a strange experience, to say the least. Everything you thought you knew, everything you thought you wanted seems to evaporate. There is nothing left untouched. Lifestyle, livelihood, friends, sense of home, YOUR NAME, you begin to wonder what its all about, what it all is for, and whats the point of it all. As if those questions weren't already swimming around in your head you are hit head on with them, all at once in a cold dark place.
What you have built, worked for, cherished, loved is taken out by a tide of deception in a world that you yourself had a hand in creating. Leaving you with nothing other than bitter truth. Truth that you must relinquish to.
Through my "made for TV mini drama" my children have been my constant. Never allowing me to lose focus on our goal. What life is for us. What is important.
Those mornings that the light meets my eyes with a "please don't be morning" impenetrable shut, those are the mornings where inevitably someone WILL be jumping on my bed yelling "We want cereal! We want cereal!" or the ever so famous "Mommy, I gotta go pee."
When the days seem long, I'm met with a net full of goldfish from Grandpa Deans pond gulping for air. Or the infamous crawfish mid convulsion in a desperate attempt to get away.

There are times of chaos. Presley sleepwalking, the nights when no amount of melatonin will settle the girls down. And those nights when you think "I can't do this all over again tomorrow." and "Will it be like this the rest of our lives?" "How can I do this on my own?!"

There are the small victories that make it all worthwhile. When Presley counts out his money for his Lego set on his own for the cashier, even though we spent 45 MINUTES in the Lego aisle.
Penelope learning to read and spell words. Pixie finally coming out of her shell. And the artwork, the amazing things that they create. Their angelic smiles...their eyes that capture their innocent souls. The kisses and "I lub you Mom"......
Juggling their beauty amidst of the chaos....that's when I know we will be OK. We will be Spectacular!